New Traditions
by baby-rose15
Summary: She knows how important this holiday is to him. How important traditions are for him now, and that he really just wants to be able to include her in them. But she still needs to be able to do what she's always done.


**So we get a Christmas Episode this year! That has me dancing all over the place in joy and when I first heard about it, it sparked what was supposed to be a short little burst of inconsequential fluff. It got away from me and now is like 5000 words but I got it done. I'm pretty happy with it, there's a couple pieces that I couldn't get to work the way I wanted them too. But over all I like it.****  
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**So read on with the full knowledge that these characters are not mine.  
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* * *

New Traditions

It's two weeks before Christmas and Castle has been going on and on about all the decorations for the tree when he's not spinning crazy theories about the case. But they're the last people in the precinct when he finally taps his phone and shifts in his seat so that he can look at her, he's been ready to leave for about an hour but he finds it's best to give her the time she needs particularly if he wants her to come with him.

He's reached his waiting limit though so he's just going to ask, "You're coming over tonight?"

She lifts her head from her paper work, tossing the curls over one shoulder, "I was thinking about just going home tonight." She shifts a little, he wants her to dive right into his holiday traditions, and she's not quite there yet. Besides, they have plans for tomorrow when his mother is at a play and his daughter has gone back to school, and maybe she needs to start holiday traditions with just him and not the whole family. "We're still on for tomorrow though?" she asks a little hesitantly.

His face has fallen a little bit but he's not giving up. "We're decorating the tree tonight," he reasons.

She tries not to make a face, "Don't you think that maybe that should stay a family tradition?"

"Families change Kate." The way that he says that, soft and so very sure of himself, of them, it makes her heart hiccup at the reminder of how in this he really is.

She reaches out her hand to cover his, a thumb swiping across the back of his hand, waiting for his eyes to meet hers again. "Rick, I'm not saying that one day we won't decorate the tree together. But maybe not the whole shindig this year?"

His face quirks just a little into a smile, as he looks at her skeptically. "The whole shindig?"

"Castle," she huffs, "you know what I mean."

"Ok." He nods his head agreeing, settling that he's not going to win this round, but that's not the goal so he'll live "Ok, but I'm saving an ornament for you."

"Castle…" she's smiling even when she groans at him.

"You're not talking me out of it." He stands shaking his head, "I have one for you and you can hang it when you're over tomorrow."

She can't keep the surprise off her face. What an interesting gesture, "You have an ornament for me?"

"Maybe," he tells her pulling on his coat.

Relaxing now that she knows he's going to let it go, she can lean back in her chair and engage in the one thing that they've always done well. "Castle, should I get you an ornament?"

"That is entirely up to you my dear Detective." He smiles broadly at her.

"I already got you a present." She's squinting at him, trying to figure out if he has an agenda here.

"I figured."

She studies him carefully, looking for a tell when she asks him. "Is the ornament the only present you got me?"

"Kate, do you really think that's the only gift I got you?"

There's no way she's going to win this game. She got her victory for the night she should just let it go. "Go home Castle."

"Talk to you later?" He asks almost unsure of her answer at this point, since he's been teasing her.

She however reassures him with a smile, and a nod of her head. "Yeah, I call you."

"Ok. See you tomorrow." He wraps a hand over her shoulder giving it a squeeze, as her hand comes up to cover his briefly echoing the squeeze.

"Goodnight Castle."

* * *

Of course, they caught a case in the days leading up to Christmas. Fortunately, it was a fairly easy case even if it did have the added flair of the victim being named Kris Kringle in a Santa Suit.

They closed it despite the constant tension and disagreement over the Christmas plans. He's still there tapping on his phone hoping that she'll just call it a night and come home with him but it's pushing 3 and they're supposed to meet Alexis at 3:15 to go get hot chocolate, see the tree at Rockefeller Center before giving silver dollars to Salvation Army Bell ringers. Then finishing Christmas eve out by going to the loft to watch _A Wonderful Life_, followed by every other Christmas movie until they fall asleep on the couch.

He can't wait any longer though so he tries to be reasonable, "Let the paperwork wait until after Christmas, Beckett."

"It's not much more." She tells him not lifting her head from the paperwork, carefully and steadily filling in every part of the form. Taking longer than usual because she can't face it, the puppy dog eyes, or further conversation of the future right now. It's been a point of contention all month long. It's been a point of contention really since that dinner with their parents and it became evident that combining their families, their lives, isn't as simple as they thought and they aren't nearly as far along in this as they thought they were when they started this.

Castle is exasperated though and he really just wants this to go smoothly, because he wants to spend Christmas with his family and his girlfriend and he's really tired of fighting her on something that he knows she wants but won't let herself have. "Is it really going to change the outcome if you finish it tonight?"

"Yes Castle, it will." She snaps, leveling him with a stare. She's going to make him see why she's here. Why this difficult for her, and why she doesn't want to give it up for now, just for the sake of the holidays. "If it waits for after the holidays it lands on the DA's desk later and in a pile of other ones and it takes that much longer for him to get justice. For his daughter to get justice for her father that she just lost right before Christmas. A father that loves Christmas more than anything."

She can see that he's resigned to her answer at this point but she's going to press on, because if they're really going to do this. If this is really going to the first of many Christmas' together then he has to know that she's always going to make this sacrifice. She's going to put someone else's tragedy before her own happiness because she's been on the other side. "So yes Castle, I'm going to stay and do my part to make sure this Christmas is a little bit better for her, this Christmas that has to be the worst Christmas in her entire life and will probably ruin every Christmas after. But I'm gonna try and make it just a little bit better, Ok?"

He studies her for just a moment, and she has that uncomfortable moment where she knows he can read absolutely everything written on her face in a way that no one ever has been before. He nods his head in acceptance? Resignation? She's not really sure but he finally says, "Ok."

Damn it she feels like she's breaking his heart but this is important to her too, and this is how she's done it for the last 13 Christmas's that not just going to change at the drop of a hat. She really needs him to understand that. "I know it's just paperwork. But it's what I can do."

His hand covers hers that she's still got resting on the mouse. The massive, solid palm dwarfing her more delicate fingers, squeezing very gently, "I get it Kate."

The tension is already leaving her body because even if he doesn't completely get it he's at least accepting that this is where she needs to be. "Do you Castle?"

He shakes his head with that little quirk of his lips that he really has no idea what is happening but he's resigned himself to accepting it. Now he's going to do what he does best for her, and simply accept what she's offering even if he really wants more."I probably don't fully understand how you feel about it but I get why you have to do it."

"Ok." It comes out of her weak and beaten up, because she really wants to be able to give this to him. She knows how important this holiday is to him. How important traditions are for him now, and that he really just wants to be able to include her in them. But she still needs to be able to do what she's always done.

He's not giving up that easily though. He's giving her this but he needs something in return. "You'll come over when you're done?" It's not really a question more of a statement of fact that she can't disagree with.

And yet his name hiccups in her throat, "Castle." Christmas hasn't been this difficult in years for her, and she can't help hoping that these only get easier because she really doesn't want to have this fight with him every year.

"New Christmas traditions, Kate." He tells her standing pulling on his coat, "New memories. I'm not looking to replace the old ones, or to gloss them over but because this is just the first of many Christmas's that I plan to spend with you and I want to start making new traditions to go with our old ones. You come over when you're ready, if that's not 'til tomorrow morning ok, but just come over."

She studies the black pea coat that does look so very good on him. "Ok," She can give him that, she can go over when she's done. When she's wrapped her head around this a little more thoroughly. When she's gotten through her personal traditions.

He smiles his first genuine smile in hours at that though, eyes darting around the precinct quickly before he leans in and presses a kiss to her forehead, wrapping her in the scent that is so uniquely and wonderfully him. "I love you Kate." And then he's gone striding towards the elevator before she manages to re-open her eyes.

* * *

It's been at least two hours since he left her to finish her paperwork. So she's finished that paperwork and the paperwork for a couple of other cases that has been hanging around for one reason or another. She's just thinking that maybe she should call it a night, she's not even supposed to be working the holiday, now that her case is closed, when the Captain's door swings open. "Detective Beckett, a word." Gates snaps from the doorway to her office before retreating inside leaving the door open.

The precinct is pretty much dead, so there's no one to even make a confused face at. Sure there's a few uniforms and the one detective team that pulled Christmas Eve duty, put they're hanging out in the break room. Besides she's fairly certain that at least two of them are Jewish, and one of the Detectives just lost his wife to cancer so they're probably all quite happy have duty. And more to the point could care less as to why she's being summoned in to the Captain's office on Christmas Eve.

Figuring there's nothing for it at this point she might as well just get it over with. She strides in the Captains office, closing the door behind her. "Sir?"

"What are you doing here Detective?" Victoria Gates asks settling into the chair behind the desk she brought in to replace Montgomery's. Indicating that Beckett should sit as well with a flick of her wrist.

"I…" She's struggling to not be confused as she sinks into the chair across from the Captain that she's never quite trusted, and could never really replace Montgomery anyway. "I'm finishing my paperwork, Sir," she finally manages to get the words out.

Captain Gates folds her hands in front of her as though this is merely of passing interest to her, "You're not on duty though?"

"No?" Beckett shakes her head. If she's about to get wrapped into a case, she'd really rather not. But that would be the punishment she'd pay for turning Castle down earlier and putting off making their own traditions.

Gate's drills her gaze into Beckett, clearly she's not amused and bent on making Beckett feel a little more uncomfortable and regret her choices. "Then why are you here? I was under the impression that you and Mr. Castle had Christmas traditions to start."

The question hits Beckett out of left field, how the hell did the Captain know? They'd been so careful, "Sir?" she chokes on the title.

Gates huffs and waves her hands at Beckett, restraining a laugh. "Honestly Detective, do you really think I'm that blind?"

"Sir…" she has absolutely no idea where this is going but it can't be good.

Victoria Gates just shrugs like the very thing that has looming over Beckett's head for the last six months is actually of no consequence at all. "You've been good and mostly keeping it out of the precinct but you've been sleeping together for what the last five months?"

"Sir?" She swears she can be more coherent that this. Really, it is possible. Has been possible, sometime in the last year.

"So, why are you here?" Gates is now looking at her extremely expectantly. Like the answer better be about saving the world and nothing else is acceptable.

"I well…" She starts, but she's still stuck on Gates has known this whole time and hasn't said anything about the lead detective, whom she has constant power struggles with, and the writer that she believes has no place in this precinct have been in a relationship for over six months and she hasn't said anything at all. "I'm sorry sir you've know all this time?" She asks again, maybe further verbal confirmation will make her worst nightmare reality.

"Yes, and now I want to know what you're doing sitting in my precinct at 5:30 on Christmas Eve when you're off duty and you have a partner that loves you more than he loves Christmas?" Gates leans forward on the desk staring her down.

Fortunately, Beckett isn't a criminal and is an interrogation pro, there's no way she's going to fold right now. "I'm sorry sir it's not really any of your business."

Gates is unimpressed, and looking increasingly irritated. "It became my business when you're here instead of off duty, and you're clearly unhappy."

The stare down that happens in the next sixty seconds, probably changed the state of their relationship permanently. Because that was when Beckett decided to let this woman in and share, "We had a fight about Christmas traditions… Well not really a fight but we're on a different page about the traditions and the holidays haven't been the best time of year for me since my mom's murder."

"Oh goodness." Gates huffs with just the hint of a smile, "This definitely isn't my business and as much as it pains me to do anything that would make Castle's life easier but just go make some new ones, they won't take away from the old ones and spending the holidays with people you love makes them infinitely better." Gates now leans back in her chair, studying the impressive young woman before her, that reminds her so much of herself. "Kate, he's not going anywhere so you might as well come up with some traditions you share." Gates smiles broadly at Beckett, "Now get out of here Detective so I can too."

Beckett bites her lip and nods her head, standing heading for the door, "Yes sir." She doesn't make it out of the room though before she's turning back to her Captain, "Sir, can I just as one question?"

"I suppose." Gate peers at her over the top of her glasses this time.

"Why didn't you say anything before?" because that's she's really can't figure it out. This woman is the one that they've been hiding it from, the reason they've been so careful at all times. And as it turns out not only does she knows, has known, but it turns out she doesn't care.

"Would it have changed anything?" Gates just shrugs, "I could have tried to kick him out, but that would have never have lasted long and besides he can be useful, and corrects his mistakes, so he's not all that bad. Just don't ever tell him that."

"Thank you Sir." She's gracious, because this is probably, the best course of events that she could have ever hoped for.

"Detective?" Gates stopped her this time.

"Hmm?" Beckett lifts her head, from the spot she's been staring into her shoe.

"He makes you happy."

"Even when he's being a pain," she can't stop the smile that spreads when she agrees with the Captain.

"That's why."

Kate has no idea where Gates is going with that, "That's why what?"

"I let him stay."

"I …" She has legitimately no idea what to say to that, so she smiles and nods her head gratefully, "Thank you, Sir."

The Captain graciously accepts the thanks before turning back to her computer, "Just keep acting like you're hiding it from me when you're here and it won't be a problem." She looks back over at the Detective, "Understood?"

"Understood." Kate nods.

"Good now go home. Have a Merry Christmas" Gate resumes shutting down her computer and cleaning off her desk for the evening.

"You too sir." Finally opening the door to the office, Kate can only smile as she leaves, that was exactly what she needed to hear to get her out the door. Castle wasn't just pushing for the sake of pushing her, he'd been asking because he needed something too and it's within her power to grant it, and she finds that despite everything else she really wants too.

* * *

He's moping. He knows he's moping, and his mother and daughter know he's moping, but they're being kind and not saying anything as they put the finishing touches on the apartment so that it's ready to go for the dinner tomorrow and they can enjoy the traditional Christmas movie marathon.

But he's not in a place that he can enjoy any of the Christmas spirit as he's moping because he hasn't heard from her at all. Not even a text since he left her at the precinct four hours ago. But he really just wants to be with her even if it's sitting at a desk in a deserted police precinct while she fills out paperwork. Just for a little bit.

Mind made up, he pulls out his jacket and slides it on before calling out to his family, "I'm going to go down to the precinct."

Neither of them bats an eye at that. His mother just waves her hand making her way into the kitchen to stir the hot chocolate, before sticking her head in the oven to check on the cookies. "Ok dear. See if you can't convince her to come at least for a little bit."

"Tell her we have fresh cookies if she comes, Dad." Alexis calls from the tree where she's rearranging some of the ornaments he hung without her, pausing briefly to just tap the ornament that Kate had hung days earlier, to watch it spin in the light.

He smiles at that brief moment, then goes to open the door. "I'll tell h… Kate?" Only to find the woman in question standing on the other side, duffle bag hung on her shoulder, scarf a little lopsided, coat open, fist raised to knock and a smile on her face.

"Hey." She drops her fist. She really didn't expect him to beat her to the punch, and so they're both silent for a moment before she finally comes to her senses, and laughs just a little at them lips quirking up as she steps into the apartment, "You headed somewhere?"

He smiles that adorable smile he has, reserved for moments when he can't believe that she's really there, that they're really doing this. "I was coming to get you," He tells her stepping back just enough to close the door behind her.

"Well I'm here."

"I can see that."

She actually laughs now, full out laughs, and collapses against the solid support of his front door. This is getting to be a pretty familiar place. "Words are really failing you Castle," she tells him letting the duffle slip off her shoulder, thudding on the floor as she reaches a hand out to wrap her hand around the edges of his coat giving it a little tug so that he steps closer to her. Feet coming to rest on either side of hers the only space between their bodies created by her lean on the door.

"I just…" he fumbles, reaching out to rest a hand against her cheek, reaffirming that's she's actually here, "You're here for Christmas. I wasn't sure you'd make it tonight."

The thought hits her that maybe he really is more upset with her about not just jumping into holiday activities with him feet first. "Do you not want me here?" She asks carefully watching his eyes to see the truth.

He laughs, "No, no. Of course I want you here." He sighs, "You have a tendency to make me speechless by showing up at my door when I least expect it." His voice has dropped to a whisper as he leans closer his free hand ghosts round her waist, his palm landing on the small of her back.

Her grin is blinding, as she nudges his nose with her own, a hand ghosting up his coat to slide under the collar, "My apologies."

He shakes his head again, lips brushing against hers sending whispers of arousal through her blood stream. "Don't apologize. Never apologize for making me smile." His voice is low and laced with need before he finally settles his lips firmly on hers. Soft and lovely, intertwined with a desperate gratitude that she could fell radiating off of him as his chest pressed into hers and his fingers curl at her back bringing her impossibly closer, even as the other hand slipped from her cheek into her hair.

Her fingers tease the ends of his hair and her tongue slips inside his mouth. He tastes like coffee, eggnog, some sort of Christmas cookie, and then purely Castle as his mouth goes beat for beat with hers before he finally pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against hers.

Eyes slowly opening as his mouth tips into a grin. "Did you bring your stuff?" he asks.

"Yeah, that's what the bag's for."

He chortles at himself, wigging his eyebrows for her a moment, "And here I thought that was just full of presents for me."

She rolls her eyes at him, "Nope nothing in here for you." Then she arches up on her toes so that her mouth is at his ear and a full octave lower than usual, "Well maybe something but your family wouldn't appreciate it."

"No fair." He groans his hips jerking forward into hers.

Her laughter is full now and it rings through the loft as she pushes them both up right. Unbuttoning her jacket to toss it over the bag that she's kicked out of the way of the door. "Castle you really are unobservant you know that right?"

"I am highly observant." He scoffs, pulling his jacket right back off and adding it to the pile of her stuff. They'll deal with it later.

She quirks an eyebrow at him, "That's why you've been following me around for four and a half years?" the amused sarcasm pouring out of her.

He reaches out and snags her belt loop tugging her into him, so that he can lean in and practically growl in her ear, "You know why I've been following you around for that long." Even as his arms loop around her waist.

"Ymmm…" She hums and it vibrates through his body as her hands trace patterns on his chest. "I suppose I do, but you're definitely unobservant."

Now he's totally at a loss, pulls back so that he can give her a fully puzzled look. "Ok, what did I miss?"

She glances pointedly around him the extravagant Christmas tree, and the floor that is over flowing with presents. "How about the fact that your present has been under the tree for two days now. Not to mention Martha's and Alexis's."

"You got my mother and daughter Christmas present?" He asks genuinely, awed by the amazing woman in front of him and how despite her own issues and roadblocks she has gone above and beyond what he would have thought necessary.

"And you got my father one and the boys and the Captain presents." She taps him lovingly on the chest.

"How did you…" He likes giving presents and making people smile, but it doesn't mean that he intends to flaunt his wealth, he just likes to take care of people. He really didn't intend for her to find out about the Captain, let alone the boys, her father would tell her but so what, she bought his family presents.

"Well the boys like to brag about things and the Captain said something about you fixing your mistakes makes you less of a waste of space than before somewhere in the process of scolding me for being at the precinct when I should be with you. She knows by the way, has the whole time."

"I… what?" he stumbles over that piece of information, but she seems intent to plow on.

"Not to mention that you gave everyone of the uniforms a gift card to Starbucks." She taps his chest to emphasize her point.

He gives up figuring out how she knows smiles and shrugs, using the action to tug her just a little bit closer. "You got me. I love Christmas, and I love making peoples days a little bit brighter."

Lifting one of her hands to his face, she swiped her thumb across the soft skin under his eye, "I know and that's one of many things I love about you."

His fingers curl into the fabric of her shirt, "It is?"

"Yeah it is." She lifts up just a little on the balls of her feet to cover his lips with hers, before dropping back on to her heels as he follows her just breathing her in as his eyes sparkle with overwhelming joy.

"Darlings the hot chocolate won't be hot if you don't come and get it." Martha calls from the kitchen effectively ruining the moment, and at the same time, it was a perfectly normal and wonderful moment for them. If every other sweet moment wasn't ruined by someone interrupting then they'd probably already be married.

He groans, rocking his head against hers even as she laughs. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks her.

She nods with a smile, she's committing to this, committing to them, committing to a life time of extravagant Christmas' with him. "New traditions Castle."

"Merry Christmas Kate." He tells her softly pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"Merry Christmas." She whispers back, stepping away from him before lacing her fingers through his and leading the way into the cacophony that is Christmas with his family. Throwing out greetings to this mother and daughter before asking them the plan for the evening, leaving him in what feels like a swirl of Christmas glitter, tethered to the ground by only the squeeze of her fingers as she looks back at him with a blinding smile.

* * *

**I know it's a little early but Happy Holidays!**

**Babyrose  
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